Two Perspectives (His Perspective, conclusion)

    Three days ago we were having lunch at this spot. Tuesday afternoon, almost a year after we met. Somehow, we sat at the same table. It still had Mike and Kate 4ever carved into it, but now it said skank above Kate's name. Guess it didn't work out.

    The jewelry store had just opened up. We were about to walk past it on our way to the cars when I noticed they were having a sale on wedding sets. There was a table outside the store where a woman sat showing bridal sets. She saw us holding hands. Why she did I'll never know, but she asked if I saw a bridal set I liked. Why I stopped I'll never know, but the next thing I knew I was looking at them. I asked Christine if she would like a white or yellow gold bridal set and when I looked up she had gone completely white. She looked dead. Guess that's because of her dark hair and blue eyes.

    Without saying another word I put down the bridal sets, grabbed her arm, and walked out. When we got to the car, I hugged her. She wouldn't let go, but she wouldn't say anything either. I tried pulling away. The only part of me I could get away was my head, but she chased my mouth with hers. Long, quiet kiss. Without looking in my eyes or saying anything, she hopped in her car and drove away.

    I know I ruined it. Everything. It's all done for. I can't believe I was that stupid. Why did I say that? It's their fault. The jewelers. I have to ask that woman why she would ask strangers a question like that. Dammit, too much too fast.

    I guess I was looking at the jewelry store, so I didn't hear her come up behind me. Doesn't matter. I could smell her from the other side of the country. Especially when she's turned on or just out of the shower.

    "Yellow. I want a yellow bridal set. Whenever I get married. I met this great guy a while back, and he never asked me out. We just sorta connected." I felt a hand grab my arm and turn me around. There she was, those beautiful blue eyes tearing away. "He never asked me out. He never asked for my number. He never asked anything. He might never ask me to marry him." When she said that, she took my hand in hers. There at the mall. In the food court. On a Friday evening, exactly a year after we first met at this very same table. I was still sitting down. She was still standing up. I moved to make room for her on my lap, but she didn't sit there. She knelt down before me. "Erik, you and I were there for each other during the absolute worst pain and agony. You're the only person I've ever known who's given me unconditional love. That's the only thing I really want in a husband. Will you be that man for me?"

Two Perspectives (Her Perspective, conclusion)

    We were leaving the food court at Cottonwood when we passed by a jewelry store. Two weeks ago, Erik had to leave early, so I came into this new jewelry store. I spent about twenty minutes asking the jeweler if she’d show me whatever new wedding jewelry she might have. As we walked past the store, she saw me holding Erik’s hand. We were close enough to the store for her to talk to us, so she asked Erik if he saw anything he liked. I nearly choked on holding my breath when he stopped and looked at the rings on display. He really surprised me when he turned to me and asked if I’d like yellow or white gold. Then I saw him blush a color of red I didn’t think was possible. He put down the ring he had in his hand, took my hand, and started walking for the cars.

    We didn’t talk all the way out of the building. I guess I was kind of shocked at the sudden question, and I could tell he was appalled just by remembering how red he’d become. But as we walked, my shock wore off and I started to get kinda mad at him. Here we were, obviously in love. He knew I was crazy about him. I knew how he felt about me. And yet he panicked when smallest thought of marriage came up. I wasn’t getting angry, just mad. When we got to my car, I kissed him. I wanted him to remember the kiss, something to show him I wasn’t hurt or scared off. I guess it didn’t work. He didn’t say anything as I drove off. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw him there, apparently still in shock.

    Well, that was Tuesday at lunch. He didn’t call that night, no email the next day, no call, no email, all the way up to Friday when I left work. We’d agreed to meet here this evening because it was exactly a year after we met at this very spot. As I got close to the food court, I started getting a big nervous. I had to sit down, and I just happened to choose the same table I saw him from for the very first time.

    There he was, fidgeting. He was obviously very nervous. He had his back to me. It was really funny to see. He’d shake his legs, then stand up. He took a couple steps toward the jewelry store, then came back and sat down. He’d look at everybody all around him, but he never looked far enough away to see me.

    Finally, I had to go down there. He apparently was too nervous to hear me coming, so I got to sneak up on him. "Yellow. I want a yellow bridal set. Whenever I get married. I met this great guy a while back, and he never asked me out. We just sorta connected." I thought that would turn him around, but he just sat there. I counted silently to 10, then began to panic. What if this isn’t him? I reached down, grabbed his arm, and turned him around. As soon as I saw him, my eyes started to tear a little. "He never asked me out. He never asked for my number. He never asked anything. He might never ask me to marry him." As I said those things, I saw him smile. One of those smiles that makes me go weak in the knees. I didn’t know what I was going to do until that moment, but then I found all the guts I needed to do what I wanted to do. I knelt down in front of him. In front of the food court patrons. On a Friday night. Only a year after we’d met at this very table.

    At first I just saw confusion as the words flowed out of my mouth. In the span of less than ten seconds, that confusion went to understanding, then to pure love, and finally to complete happiness. I was choking a little on my own tears, so it took me awhile to finish my three sentences. “Will you be that man for me?” As I said the last one, I saw the answer written all over his face. Without waiting to answer, I pulled his lips down to mine and kissed my fiancée as long as I could.

Two Perspectives (His Perspective, part 2)

    That's how it started. We worked close to the mall, so we started meeting everyday for lunch. It was great talking to somebody about the excruciating pain that comes with watching your love, your dreams, your future, your heart sift through your fingers like sand. No, like ashes.

    It didn't start out as love. We were there for each other. Friends. We didn't have the same things in common. I'm Methodist. She's Baptist. I have a tattoo of a cross and "You are my hiding place" on my arm, and she's scared of needles. I like to drink every now and then, and she thinks alcohol in any form's bad. We're opposites. But one day I looked at her and noticed that my heart was healed. I looked down at my sandwich and when I looked back at her beautiful blue eyes, I saw the same realization in her face.

    But we still didn't think about dating. Then one day my office decided to relocate. I wouldn't be working near the mall anymore. When I saw her for lunch that day, I told her I would be working on the other side of town. Not too far, but far enough away that I couldn't have lunch everyday with her anymore. So we agreed that each day, we would take 45-minute lunches. Then on each Tuesday either I would drive to Winrock Mall on her side of town or she would drive to Cottonwood mall on mine. Funny. We'd been there for each other for three months. Through her ex trying to get back with her and me demanding that she forgive but move on. Through me getting a restraining order against my ex because she wouldn't leave me alone. She didn't understand that I can't be her friend after being that close to her.

    It wasn't until her company had her work through lunch for two weeks that I noticed how much I missed her. The next time I saw her, I was going to suggest we date. I didn't get the chance to say it because her lips were too tightly stuck on mine.

    We've been dating since then, oh, about four months ago. We were already very close, we just needed a little push from each other. When we got it, we fell very fast and very far. We still try to meet for lunch on Tuesday. I can't believe I did it. Here I am, Friday night, waiting for her to show up. She and I were supposed to meet here for dinner because it was a year ago that she sat down next to me during lunch. What if she got scared off? Why did I have to do it? All I can think is she's not ready. Or she thinks I'm not ready. Why isn't she here? She has never been late. I know I tossed everything away. Too soon.


To conclude in His Perspective, part 3

Two Perspectives (Her Perspective, part 2)

    It was a month after that before I saw Erik smile. We met for the very first time on a Tuesday. It was early spring. I found out that we worked near and had lunch at the same mall, so we met every day to talk and offer each other a shoulder to cry on. I’m sure I spent lots of time sharing my heartaches with him, and I can only hope I was there for him as much. Exactly one month after I met Erik, we were having lunch at the mall when a young mother of twins brought her babies past our table. Such a sight used to make Erik cry because of what he’d lost with Janette, his ex. When he saw the two boys, he smiled. It was a warm smile that told me his heart was healed. He looked into my eyes with that smile and my heart felt like a frozen lake thawing in a flash. He looked down and when he looked back up I had what I hoped was the same smile on my face. That’s the day I knew I had put Tony behind me.

    About three weeks later, he came to me with news that surprised me. Not because it was surprising news, but because it hurt. He had to tell me that his company was moving to the other side of town, so we wouldn’t be able to have lunch together anymore. For a minute, I thought I had spooked him when I said right away that such a thing wasn’t acceptable. So we came up with this new arrangement. Each day, we take only 45 minutes for lunch. Then on every other Tuesday, I would go to Cottonwood Mall on his side of town or he would come to Winrock Mall on my side of town. I thought my eagerness to keep seeing him for lunch would be a big enough tip, but I guess he just wasn’t ready to start dating again.

    It was really amazing that we had come to mean so much to each other. Tony had tried to come back to me, and I would have let him. But Erik was my rock. I forgave Tony, but changed my locks and told him to move on without me. Janette kept trying to reconnect with Erik, but I was his source of strength through all of that. But he never got the idea that my body would tingle when we hugged or that I just loved gazing into those soft, brown eyes. Finally I got the chance to hit him with a more than obvious sign. My boss had me work through my lunch two weeks straight. I emailed Erik and apologized profusely, saying the next time we met would be that much sweeter. When I finally made it back to Cottonwood Mall, I got a little too nervous as I drove around looking for a parking spot. I passed him standing at the front door twice. He just stood and waved the first time, and I think I saw him blow me a kiss the second time. When I finally got out and walked up to him, I shoved all my nerves aside and held his lips (maybe a little too close) right up against mine. He never did ask me out, but we sure were a couple in the malls and in our emails.

    I just didn’t understand this guy. All at once, after that kiss, his emails got so much warmer and he signed them all “love, Erik.” He even said he loved me. But we never went out together. For two months it went that way. Then finally he suggested he make me dinner. That’s when I found out he really knew how to cook, but didn’t have a clue about what a girl wants. They really are from another planet. We dated pretty seriously for about two more months. Our kisses kept getting more and more tender, our conversation more personal. Just last week, he started signing his email letters “love forever, Erik.” Finally, I thought we were on the right track. Then, Tuesday came around.


To conclude in Her Perspective, Part 3

Two Perspectives (His Perspective, part 1)

    You can't unscramble an egg. That's just an expression, you know. I don't know why I did it. What if it was the wrong thing to do? What if she's not ready for such a big decision? What if she doesn't think our relationship is ready? What if she doesn't think I'm ready? I can't believe I did something that stupid. I've always run on impulse. There we were, walking through the mall after our Tuesday lunch meeting. We've been together for a whole year. We started out each recovering from a broken heart. It really wasn't two people looking for a date. I remember I just hurt so much. It was a Tuesday and I was sitting in the food court after getting the shove-off from my ex.
    Anyway, I was sitting there crying, numb. I couldn't hear anything, I had my head down on the table. I wanted to go home and curl up under my blanket, but I still couldn't move. My left hand was still wrapped around my cell phone, the one I was talking to her on when she tossed me away. My fingers were white. I guess in my heartache, my muscles tightened up. There was a pool of tears on the table, and it turned to a small trickle into some kid's vandalism. Somebody'd carved Mike and Kate 4ever into the tabletop, and my tears were filling it up. The bottom of the 4 hit the edge of the table, and my tears were flowing through it onto the floor. From the distance of my conscience, I heard a chair scrape against the floor. A little closer to noticing, I heard somebody mumble something. Somebody close. Something sad. I looked up and saw another face streaked with tears. "Is she fucking another guy?"
    "What?" I heard the word, but didn't realize it was from my mouth.
    "I was sitting on the bench and looking at all the happy people, remembering what it was like before he dropped the bomb. He's sleeping with his roommate's sister. I was remembering what it felt like to worry about too much pda. I was remembering what his hair smelled like and what I smelled when I snuggled into his chest. Then as I was watching people, I saw you on your phone. I saw your face light up when you answered, and I saw you crumble as the conversation went on. I watched all the blood drain from your face. I tried not to watch, but when I looked back a few minutes later I saw drops falling from the table and knew what you had just heard.
    "No, she's not sleeping with another guy. At least I don't think she is. It's stupid, really. She wants a cat and I want a dog. I love cats. But they don't run over and curl up with you as soon as you get home. Stupid, really."
    "Hi, by the way my name's Christine."
    "Erik."

Two Perspectives (Her Perspective, part 1)

    Fidgeting. I’d never seen him fidgeting so much in all the time I knew him. He must be really nervous. Hell, he deserves it! He sure made me very nervous over the past few days. Why the hell did he have to say what he did? Why did he ask if I’d like a yellow wedding set or a white wedding set? I’ve been incredibly nervous ever since he said that, waiting for him to call. He never did. Not once in the past three days did he ease my mind. Well it’s his turn to be nervous.
    I guess he can’t see me from where I’m sitting. This is where I sat when I first saw him a year ago. I had just finished crying again. Ever since Tony’d left I’d cried nearly every day, and that day was no different. I had gone to the mall during my lunch break with my eyes full of tears when I sat here and started watching people. I always wondered what kind of stories other people have, and when I saw him answer his phone, I wanted to know his story.  His eyes lit up when he heard her voice. But then I watched him crumble. He crumbled like a beautiful sandcastle getting hit by a wave. It took her all of four minutes to destroy what he’d worked so hard to build with her. I watched him hang up the phone and sit there, looking at his phone in disbelief. I saw a few tears start to trickle down his face, then he silently collapsed onto the table. In one motion he folded his arms and dropped his head onto them on the table in front of him. I looked away for awhile, but my eyes kept getting pulled back to him. I’d watch for a few minutes until I saw his shoulders tremble just a little. I’d look away, but in only a minute I’d look back and see his shoulders tremble again, harder. After a while, a smaller tremble, then a larger one. For fifteen minutes this happened until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I just had to know what she’d done to cause so much pain.
    I got up and walked over to his table. I couldn’t hear anything but really fast and erratic breathing. “Is she sleeping with somebody?” He didn’t respond at all. No new motion, no new breathing pattern, no sign he’d heard me at all. I reached out and grabbed the back of the other chair at his table, pulling it back as loud as I could. The breathing pattern slowed. I remembered how Tony’d hurt me and how nothing registered for awhile. It brought tears back to my eyes. “That’s why he left me. He’s sleeping with another girl.” Finally, a recognizable reaction. The man in front of me looked up, and for once I saw more pain in somebody else’s eyes than I felt in my own heart. I also realized he hadn’t heard a thing I said. “Is she fucking another guy?”
    “What?” I didn’t know a person could paint such a dark picture with just a single word.
    “I was sitting on the bench and looking at all the happy people, remembering what it was like before he dropped the bomb. He's sleeping with his roommate's sister. I was remembering what it felt like to worry about too much pda. I was remembering what his hair smelled like and what I smelled when I snuggled into his chest. Then as I was watching people, I saw you on your phone. I saw your face light up when you answered, and I saw you crumble as the conversation went on. I watched all the blood drain from your face. I tried not to watch, but when I looked back a few minutes later I saw drops falling from the table and knew what you had just heard.” Through my explanation, I saw the haze brought on by his broken heart clear just enough for him to understand what I’d said.
    "No, she's not sleeping with another guy. At least I don't think she is. It's stupid, really. She wants a cat and I want a dog. I love cats. But they don't run over and curl up with you as soon as you get home. Stupid, really." Sure, it’s stupid, but I’ve heard of worse reasons for couples in love deciding not to tough it out.
    I remembered the first day Tony’d hurt me that all I wanted was a friend, and I was sure this person would be feeling the same thing soon. "Hi, by the way my name's Christine." If I could be a friend to him, maybe he could be a friend to me and we’d help each other out of the same hole.
    "Erik."

The Cat part 2

     A man stepped gingerly through the thick trees toward the distant sound. He was pretty sure he knew where he was, but he wasn’t too quick to get to the clearing. He had his arms wrapped around a little bundle, so he couldn’t use his hands to balance himself as he stepped over fallen logs. Every few steps he would stop and lean against a tree. He’d look around and smell the forest and take in the scene. Birds carelessly gliding above the canopy, butterflies flitting about closer to ground level, a couple squirrels chattering at whatever squirrels chatter at. The man smiled to himself as he admired everything he took in. He squeezed his bundle just a little and said “I didn’t think it’d be like this. Sure is pretty.”

     He couldn’t remember how long he’d been walking through the woods, but he didn’t really care. The clearing ahead wasn’t going anywhere, and it sounded from the noises filtering into the forest that his appearance or delay wouldn’t change anything. He leaned up against a tree overlooking a short trail through the remainder of the woods, closed his eyes, and just listened. He could hear behind him the noises of the forest and in front of him such a strange and diverse collection of sounds that none of them really stood out from the harmony into which they blended. He wanted to stay where he was and at the same time he wanted to walk into the clearing. Finally, he leaned away from the tree and started walking along the path.

     The clearing was very crowded. As he expected, nobody noticed his arrival. He had been slowly walking between stationary trees in the dense forest, but now he had to step more quickly between and around the milling crowds. Some people just seemed to be wandering, not noticing anybody or anything. Some people sat on the ground in small groups, absorbed in very deep conversation. Except for the tightly packed crowd on the other side of the clearing, nobody seemed to be in a hurry to get anywhere. It wasn’t a heavy load, but carrying his bundle through the forest had tired him out. Just as he was about to sit on the ground, he saw a park bench on the nearby fringe of the clearing suddenly open up. It seemed nobody else had noticed, so he stepped between a couple having a picnic and around a person studying the scene. He turned and took a small step back until he felt the edge of the bench push against his knees. Gingerly he sank down onto the bench. Next, he slowly leaned forward and moved his arms away from his chest until his bundle gently rolled onto his lap. “Well, we’re here.” He put his left arm across the back of the bench and started caressing his bundle with his right hand.

     “That’s a beautiful cat.” This voice sort of took the man by surprise because he didn’t see anybody else sit down, but it was so soft and kind that any shock faded away before the speaker finished. Juan de Dios Garcia looked to his left and saw what he thought to be the oldest person alive. The hands and the skin on the face showed untold experience and wisdom, but despite a weary expression the eyes sparkled with what seemed to be misplaced youth. “May I pet him?”

     “Uh, well, it’s been a long journey, and he’s very fast asleep. Go ahead and pet him, but please be very gentle so you don’t disturb him.” Juan watched as the feeble old man slowly scooted a little closer and then very gently rubbed a gnarled hand across the sleeping form’s tail.

     “This beautiful animal must really love and trust you to just sleep so calmly amidst all of this din.” Juan looked away from the cat and his new companion to survey the crowds in the park. He saw that some people were just watching, some people were conversing quietly with each other, some people were jogging through the park, some were talking very animatedly, and a few seemed just to be walking around looking a little lost.

     “Like I said, it was a really long trip. My name’s Juan.” He looked over at the man and noticed that he had stopped petting the cat and seemed to be watching others in the crowd, too. The man didn’t acknowledge his introduction, so Juan thought maybe he didn’t hear. Well, that’s fine. No telling how long they’d be sitting here, and he didn’t want to try too hard talking to somebody who was hard of hearing.

     The man passed his steel blue eyes over the crowd. “Yeah, quite some din. Nearly too much to hear yourself think, but I still find this park bench relaxing. I come here occasionally, and usually I see the same people. That couple over there comes I think as often as I do. Come to think of it, maybe they never leave.” The man jabbed at the couple sitting on a blanket with such speed that Juan thought the old man would just follow his arm off the bench, but he seemed to be stuck to the back of the bench. “Yeah, really crowded today.”


To be continued in The Cat part 3